What have you always wanted to be?

I always wanted to be a teacher.

But my dad had such a negative opinion of teachers and the education system and was so outspoken about it that I didn’t dare.

Off I went to university, as we were all expected to do in my family, and pursued a psychology degree. My dad was a psychologist.

Now, to be clear, not once did my dad ever suggest what I ought to do with my life. Or what I ought to be interested in. But I sure wanted to please him, so I made up all kinds of stories about how to make him happy.

(Once I had kids, I realized that’s not quite how it works.)

My first act of rebellion was at the tender age of 24ish. I went to law school. I don’t think I actually had any intention of being a lawyer. I didn’t really even know what lawyers did. But everything I’d done until that point in my life, academically at least, was easy. I was always at the top of the class, even in university.

I probably would have thrived going further in psychology, and sometimes wonder why I didn’t. I LOVE psychology, to this day. But I think I needed to feel a challenge, to do something scary. Something out of my comfort zone. And I wanted to stay in school just a bit longer. I wasn’t ready for the real world.

I found my little clique of lawyer friends, who seemed very non-lawyer-y, quite frankly. Like attracts like.

I knew early on that this probably wasn’t for me. But I’m no quitter, so I saw it through. And to make the most of it, I even worked in the Legal Aid Clinic all through law school, so I was taking it beyond the classroom and the books and making it real. Just in case I liked it, I suppose. I wanted to give it a proper chance.

I didn’t hate law school. I didn’t do badly. But I certainly wasn’t top of the class. I saw it through as far as articling in a full-service law firm. A bit of this, a bit of that. My heart wasn’t in it. I just couldn’t see this being what I did for the rest of my life.

People were so proud of me. Like going to law school meant something other than going to law school. My in-laws, in particular, seemed so incredibly proud of me. I’m not sure whether they even realize I’ve never practiced beyond articling. I don’t think it even mattered. I think “our daughter-in-law went to law school” was some kind of status thing.

My second act of rebellion happened in 2019, right before the COVID pandemic.

I became a teacher.

My dad was gone for 23 years before I decided it was okay to do that. I wasn’t a teacher-teacher… I was just doing some online English teaching to kids in China.

I loved it.

Got myself a little ESL certificate and everything. Obviously, things picked up in 2020 with no one going to school and Chinese parents desperate to make sure their kids got ahead. I was busy.

And once I’d done the forbidden and chosen my own path, the floodgates opened. It suddenly dawned on me that I could do anything I wanted.

Can you imagine?

Law school taught me that I could do hard things that seemed unexpected and out of character, and that took me out of my element. And teaching taught me that I didn’t have to be afraid of doing something I thought my dad disapproved of.

And now the possibilities are endless.

Before you decide what's next, it helps to know where you are.

If this story made you wonder what assumptions you're still carrying around, start with the Who Am I Snapshot. It's a free 5-minute reflection with five questions that can reveal more than you expect.

Download it here.