Happy Mother's Day

My 31st Mother’s Day

And here’s what I’ve learned… in no particular order

1. If you treat everyone the same, it ain’t gonna turn out well

2. You’re not actually in control of much

3. The words to every Dr. Seuss book, every Roald Dahl book, and all the best lines from Shrek and The Princess Bride

4. The theme songs to The Magic School Bus and Arthur don’t quickly leave your head

5. You think you’ll remember the details - you won’t. Write stuff down.

6. You have to let them go… they usually come back (my first child spent 10 years living across the country and across the ocean while she pursued her sport - now she lives 15 minutes away; my middle child literally returned from 5 years overseas yesterday - to live in Canada again - and brought back a partner)

7. Tell them what you like about them

8. Your kids will think you’re everything, then they’ll think you’re an idiot, then they’ll think you’re a bank machine, and finally they’ll realize you’re human

9. Everyone’s got advice - just smile

10. Everything’s a phase - chill

11. It doesn’t matter where everyone sleeps - bed, crib, alone, together - minor details

12. An apple a day is still good advice

13. Washing hands makes sense

14. My proudest moments are weird things like travelling the world to see my kids and realizing they’re the ones who call out “thank you” to the bus driver, even if they’re getting off at the rear door.

15. Let them decide

16. Cheer for them

17. Show up

18. Make sure there are witnesses to all the weird accidents that happen (in my case, always to the youngest one) so children’s services don't come knocking at your door after your latest visit to the emergency room (Doc: Come again? What happened exactly? Me: Well, you won’t actually believe it. Doc: Okay, I guess. Let me stamp your frequent visit card and let’s get him into Xray.)

19. All's well that ends well.

20. It’s a good idea to have 3 kids… at any given time only 2 get along with each other and so that leaves one that still needs you.

21. When they leave, cats are an excellent replacement.

22. They like homemade (food, gifts, cards) better than store bought every time.

23. Take them places. And let them figure out how to do all the things. As early as possible let them be in charge of finding hotels, flights, figuring out itineraries. Life skills mean freedom and lack of fear.

24. Don’t fill every minute. Make sure they experience boredom on a regular basis. 

25. Weekly library visits are a non-negotiable of childhood - and life. Let them be near books. 

26. Expose them to team sports. 

27. Try not to scream or grab the dashboard when they’re doing driving practice.

28. Know where they are.

29. Be the house where the friends hang out. Doesn’t matter how much food they go through; it’s worth it. 

30. Buy a second fridge when your boys are around 12 or 13, you’ll need the space.

31. Appreciate your time with them because it goes by so fast.